Author: S.M Ranter

New to ranting, but I've had a lifetime of bantering. Shiny things distract me, stupid things annoy me, opinionated people frustrate me. Consumerism drives me crazy, but I just can't get enough.
Boom!, Entertainment, Reviews

KUNG FURY : So tragically bad that it’s incredibly good

Triceracop and Kung Fury
Triceracop (left) and Kung Fury (right)

The best worst movie of the 80s that’s been made in 2015. Boom!  Never taking itself seriously and always fun, Kung Fury is the must see of 2015.

This movie is the epitome of a good bad movie.  Now, if you’re confused, you won’t be once you’ve seen it.  Laser Unicorns has produced a gem of a crap heap.  From its bad 80s music, convoluted plot line rip off of every movie ever made, weird stiff acting, awkward pauses, incredibly awesome bad special effects and strange nonsensical dialogue, this movie has it all and you want it and more.  Writer, Director and star, David Sandberg, took every cliché from the 80s movie making world, chucked it in a blender, and made this awesome piece of fun crapolla.

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Bants, Boom!, Rants & Bants

Peyton Manning? Who?

Football on your phone (ad) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jn5zytfm9No
Football on your phone (ad)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jn5zytfm9No

I was new to NFL and had no clue who was whom when it came to the sport.  With a partner who is not quite obsessed, but burgeoning on it, I decided that perhaps it was time to take an interest.

So yes, I have been living under a rock, and I know nothing about the sport.  All I knew was that Tom Brady was the luckiest man on earth.  Being one of the best quarterbacks of the game and married to one of the hottest woman on earth, the envy of men all around the world.  In my mind, David Beckham has nothing on Brady.  And not being American, I was unfamiliar with how prolific the Manning boys are in American pop culture (especially in commercials).

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Gossip, Life, Social Conscience

Bruce Jenner : thank-you for being you

Message 02I never thought I’d ever say “Thank-you for being you” to anyone who was on a reality TV show.  But I truly mean it.  Thank-you Bruce.

Bruce Jenner, the long suffering patriarch of the Kardashian/Jenner clan has officially come out in the recent months as a transgender.  And he’s currently in the process of transforming himself into a woman.

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Bants

Mannequins – skinny is out!

Adidas: Powerful. Inspirational. Achievable.

Sports stores have never been much of a favourite of mine.  It was just somewhere I would go to buy shoes.  And even then, it was neither here nor there, nor did I have any brand loyalty.

With the recent Fit is Sexy movement, the sports stores have become more and more prominent. With more choice than ever, brands are now vying for your dollar in more creative ways than ever before.

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Entertainment, Reviews

TOMORROWLAND – So very MIA

Tomorrowland
Tomorrowland

George Clooney… mega movie star, sex symbol, political activist, but most importantly, former box office draw card.
Clooney’s fan base are aging and are no longer between their late teens and early 30s.  The majority of his fans don’t want to see him in action movies or movies with other old men, they want to see him in a romantic comedy or a drama with some heart in it.  But mostly, he’s no longer the cool drawcard that he once was for the younger demographic, which the action movie is targeting. Don’t get me wrong, I still adore the prankster, I just am not going to pay to see him in a movie that doesn’t tell me much.

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Entertainment, Reviews

AVENGERS AGE OF ULTRON

Avengers Age Of Ultron
Avengers Age Of Ultron

I am definitely a minority when I say this, and please, do not shoot me for it: I am sick of super hero movies.

Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, The X-Men, Batman, Superman, Spiderman, The Fantastic Four… and these are just the ones that I can name off the top of my head.  Let me surmise the general gist of all these movies:

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Entertainment, Reviews

MAD MAX: FURY ROAD

madmaxMad Max, a cinematic classic.  One which propelled its star and Director to the international stage.  An iconic movie, one which seemed everyone who’d ever watched a movie had watched.  Everyone that is, except me.  It turned out, I was living under the romantic comedy rock known as Meg Ryan.

So, with my deep insight to the post apocalyptic world blah blah, I eagerly went to the premier of this colossal Australian production of epic car chases and weird super white crazies.

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Entertainment, Reviews

50 SHADES OF GREY

The movie is as good as this 'art work'
The movie is as good as this ‘art work’

50 Shades, is there are shittier movie out in 2015?  I fail to see how a movie could be worse, but bring on the contenders!  I am up to the challenge.

Over the last 2 years, 50 Shades has popped up at various conversations with my friends.  Some suggesting I should read it because “It’s so you”.  I was like, “Huh? This romance novel is about a guy in grey suits who goes around murdering 50 women?”  Crime being my current genre, it turns out, I was a little wrong.  So, when one friend deemed it necessary to enlighten me about the specifics of the book, I shrugged and moved on.  BDSM, how is this me?  What?  Continue reading “50 SHADES OF GREY” →

Entertainment, Rants, Reviews

CSI: Cyber… why oh why is it still on?

The ghost lady and Dawson carrying guns
The ghost lady and Dawson carrying guns

Patricia Arquette guest starred on an episode of CSI last year which had gotten me exited at the prospect of a new spin off.  Something exciting, it was deep web crime.  It was going to be about busting child pornography rings, human trafficking syndicates, sexual slavery, polish immigration and finding large terrorist encryption files on cat videos on youtube.  You know, the usual high tech stuff.

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