MARRIAGE EQUALITY

We live in a world where we cry foul whenever we are treated unfairly, and I am thankful for this right.  One day, we will actually live in a fair world, but progress and social evolution isn’t going to be achieved if we side with tradition.  It is always the radical that pushes us forward towards a more enlightened and free life, it is not the traditionalist binding us to the ideals of the past.

Think about what we’ve achieved in the last hundred years, how far we’ve come because of the radicals who have pushed for change in an organised and peaceful manner, things a lot of us take for granted:

• Voting rights for women
• Equality for man
• Interracial marriages
• Women in the workforce
• Abolishing laws against same sex relationships (not all countries, but we’re getting there, one country at a time)
• Parental rights

The hot political and moral debate of this decade is shaping out to be marriage equality.  Are you for it, against it, or just don’t really care?

Personally, I am all for marriage equality, but my reasons are not the same as everyone else’s.  It’s not because my best friend is gay, it is not because I think that we are all equal and should be afforded the same rights in the eyes of the law. Well, these are good reasons and I do believe in them, but my main reasons are even more personal and way more selfish.

We live in a great time, ever evolving, and progress in regards to human rights in constantly changing and man is becoming more equal each day.  Sure, it might be a struggle, but there is one place where it is not equal and sucks to be a heterosexual.  And that’s the societal pressure of getting married.

“Oh my god, you’re almost 24/26/28/30?  Why aren’t you married yet?  What’s wrong with you?  Just catch up already.”

Oh, and there’s the:

“All your friends are married, you’re the only single one left.  Just settle for him, he’s OK.”

And the ever well-meaning old biddies at weddings:

“When will it be your turn?”

Yeah, no…  I have had to suffer through this sort of marriage pressures for the last 10 years and let me tell you, it is utter nonsense.  I’ve had to smile politely and suffer through people’s judgement as to what’s wrong with me that I wouldn’t/couldn’t get married.  You know what, screw you society, I didn’t want to get married to someone I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life with, and I will get married when I’m good and ready and want to spend the rest of my life with my partner.

My gay friends are outraged that they’re unable to get married and here I am whining about my ever growing pressure to get married, and rightly so, they deserve to suffer through the kind of social pressures that I’ve had to suffer.  They should be pressured by their well-meaning friends and family, they also deserve to be constantly hounded on as to why they’re not married.  And their mothers deserve the right to plan outlandish weddings on behalf of children who just don’t really care.

And at the end of the day, it’s about what’s fair.  We should have the same rights.  Do to others as you want done to you.  How have we deviated so dramatically from this simple childhood motto?  Why is it OK for heterosexuals to be afforded marriage rights and gays not?

I want to attend my best friend’s wedding and be his best woman.  I want to object at my lovely gay crush’s wedding and storm out dramatically, it’s my one chance to make a scene in a beautiful dress.  I have my speech all planned out.  He’ll absolutely love it.

I want to see my friends have their day and to be acknowledged as equals in the eye of the law.  As for Church and State, they are two separate entities.  The Church can choose to not acknowledge gay marriages and refuse to perform them, that is The Church’s right.  But when it comes to State, you are for the masses, and ultimately, should do what is socially responsible and conscious, irrespective of how unpopular it is.  You’re not there to be re-elected, that is not your number one priority, you are there to serve.  I acknowledge that you are the voice of your constituents, but you are also meant to be the voice of reason, moral and ethical judgement.  You are suppose to be better than the average man.

As for people who claim that is sacrilege and against the eyes of The Lord, I hear you.  And you still have your church weddings, where you are married under the eyes of The Lord and is seen as a sacred bond between man, woman and The Lord.  What The Church chooses to do is the Church’s business, and I have no right as a non-believer to judge your practices.  At the end of the day, you can have your Church wedding, be considered married under The Church, not lodge your civil papers and not be considered married under the eyes of The State.  Or vice versa, that’s how Nicole Kidman was able to get married to Keith Urban in a Catholic Church, The Church did not recognise her first marriage to Tom Cruise.

However, marriage equality is the legal bond between two people and The State.  And if you think that this is somehow holy, you really should re-evaluate your definition.  Marriage under the law is all about spousal rights and inheritance laws, if we have to break it down to its core.  It’s a contract between two people and The State, where there are tax benefits, children considerations, inheritance tax benefits, hospital/emergency rights, and immigration and visa grants.

In a world where we cross international borders whenever the whim takes us, who and where we fall in love is no longer dictated by geography.  Straight people are able to get married and one person is able to migrate to the country of the other.  Gay people do not have this luxury.  Yes, by not allowing gay marriage, you are literally keeping people who love each other apart.

At the end of the day, marriage is a very personal thing, your marriage is different to everyone else’s.  A bad marriage which ends in divorce does not somehow cheapen or make your marriage meaningless, why should a gay marriage affect your marriage’s worth?  You make of your marriage what you will.  Please give others the same consideration that you want given to you and your right to get or be married.