Sense8, the latest offering from The Wach…Wach-chows… the Matrix people. Big fan of the first Matrix movie, not so much of the second and third, but I paid for my ticket and even bought them on DVD.
Sensing that perhaps they were returning to their psychedelic roots and kung-fu action routines of yore, I tentatively awaited the release of Sense8.
So, with gusto and a blanket, I plonked myself on the couch and watched the first episode. It opens in a very dark manner, typical of what you’d expect from The Waz (hang on, I’ll google it)… The Wachowskis. Phew, that’s a little less embarrassing.
Anyway, it opens quite promisingly, this is going to be a total trip, and you’re going to get to see some serious action. Yeah! The trailer promised me cool fight scenes and weird psychic connections where you obtain knowledge and abilities. I guess that comes later, much later.
And then, nothing. You get like an hour of the longest boring character introduction crap that you’ll ever see on TV. It’s so mundane and boring, that even the lesbian sex scene does very little to pike up the interest. And that says a lot. I was like, meh, whatever man, this shite is boring, where’s the action that you promised me?
I watched, hoping for something interesting to happen, but all I got was a very dirty “angelic” Daryl Hannah projecting herself to her 8 “children”. Blah, whatever man. If you’re going to project your image, at least tell them a little something. Like, “You are going to embark on a dangerous journey. You’re connected to 7 other people, and you must come together in order to keep each other alive. Oh god, you’re going to be hunted, as I am now. The only way for me to keep you safe is to kill myself. I love you my children, and I am so sorry that I cannot help you discover this journey ahead.” Boom! 5 seconds of dialogue and it sets them up.
Instead, we’re left with crappy scenes of night clubs, funerals and a lot of drug use. Yeah, I get it, you’re like advocates of the legalisations of drugs, and also, torn about its role in society. It has some good effects, because it makes people happy, but it also ruins lives and people kill for it.
Get over it Wachowskis, the red pill or blue pill days are gone. Drugs aren’t going to open up your mind and make you see reality for what it truly is.
I can’t believe it took 60 minutes for something remotely interesting to happen. 60 long agonising minutes. I get it, Netflix allows you to do a slow burn, develop your characters and story line more. But come on! If I didn’t have to write this review on the first episode, I would have given up half way and watched the ships sail by. Or better yet, I would have just played candy crush.
Honestly, I expected something better from The Wachowskis, but I am still thinking of them as the geniuses behind The Matrix, and not the questionable artists behind Jupiter Ascending.
And yo, just a little heads up, it turns out, The Wachowskis seem to think that we are illiterate and can’t read subtitles. Everyone in this show speaks English, they are located all over the world. Ummm… I’ll put it out there, they probably can speak English, but I’m pretty sure they speak their own language in their own country. I don’t know about you, but when I was in South Korea, they spoke Korean to each other. And in Germany, funnily enough, they spoke German to each other. Wow, really? No!!! You must be wrong, everyone in the world speaks only English, no other language actually exists. “Access each other’s languages”, the dude from Lost narrates. Ahhh, yeah… there’s no need, they only speak English.
Yes, I hated the first episode, more now than when I actually watched it, as I reflect upon the stupid dialogue, the lack of information, and the stupid set up.
Maybe I’ll change my mind as the show progresses, but unless I get told by my editor that I need to write another review, I’m hanging this one up and going to cut my losses and run. I have better things to do. I might do a jigsaw puzzle now. That’s way more fun than this show.
Click here for the review for Episode 2, and here for the review for Episode 3 and finale.
Rating: 2/10, only because there are some great eye candy. The plotline is agenda ridden and I’m a little tired of your drug messages. Get over yourselves, be responsible.
See it again: Oh please no, I really don’t want to have to sit through another episode of this cr@p. I really really don’t want to.
Worth my time: Give me back my time biatch! My normal brain just does not have the intelligence to understand this first episode. It was just so slow, and the dialogue unnatural and stiff. “Oh father, where are the umbrellas?” Gems, absolute gems.
Tell my mother: Why would I subject my mother to this? I love my mother, I wouldn’t wish this upon her.
Talking points: Quite a lot, but none of it good. Well, the opening scene was good, and quite intriguing, it’s just a pity that the rest of the episode was crazy slow and boring.
Annoyance factor: 10/10, read above. So many things about this show annoys me.
Ranter & Banter 