Oh yeah baby! Imaginary son number 2 is going to The Superbowl! And I am one proud imaginary mother.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOaoW7hhD6I
Yes, Peyton Manning is my imaginary son. It does not matter that he’s older than I am, I had a dream where the Manning boys were my sons. And since then, that’s how I refer to them. Sure, I am secretly (not so secretly) in love with Archie, but hey, that’s just something that any normal person would be after catching a glimpse of who this man is in The book of Manning.
As I watched Imaginary Son Number 2 play against the best looking quarterback in the NFL, Tom Brady, I was conflicted. Do I root for my imaginary child, or the hot dude? In the end, I went with Imaginary Son Number 2, after all, he’s my son. Loyalty and all that jazz.
I screamed at the TV when Bill Belichick tried for touchdowns rather than kicking field goals. I was stunned at it, my reasoning was simple. The Bronco’s offence had lost steam, and they weren’t able to drive the ball down as quickly and effectively as they had in the first half. Any moron with eyes could see that. It was the Bronco’s defence which were holding the team’s chances alive. So, kick the damn field goal, and go again. You’ll get the ball again soon enough. But no, Bill went the other way. Obviously he’s never seen Jonny Wilkinson play, and how the British Lions team dominated Rugby with their kicking game.
So, this is all I have to say for that game:
Son Number 2,
Son Number 2,
Suck it, Bill Belichick,
Son Number 2!
I am not a graceful winner. I am a terrible winner. My victory dance is one where I’m all up in the loser’s face. I am ashamed to say that I am a terrible winner.
So, now, my Imaginary Son Number 2, otherwise known as future Hall of Famer, Peyton Manning, is going to the Superbowl. Look, I’ll be honest with you, my imaginary son has not had the best season. He’s not played very well at all, he’s definitely not the Peyton of old, making those awesome throws, the long game. He’s now a driver, he quickly works his way down the field, gaining 10-15 yards at a time. It’s a running back game, one that I am not a fan of. But whatever man, a win’s a win.
The Bronco’s defence is awesome. I cannot name a single man on the team, I don’t even know who the coach is. That’s how invested I am in this game and team. In truth, I know more about the Patriots than I do about the Broncos. I just love my imaginary son.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFIGJiA1zc8
The Broncos are going up against the Carolina Panthers. And ouch… that’s all I can say. The Panthers are a scary team to meet. They lost only one game during the regular season. Their quarterback is Cam Newton. I didn’t know how to go for when the Panthers were going up against the angry birds (Arizona Cardinals). Both Cam and Carson Palmer are great quarterbacks, with teams who had been doing great. Personally, I was hoping for the angry birds. I thought that the Broncos would have a better chance against them. Sadly, the better team won, and it’s the Panthers.
This may be the last game that I will ever see my Imaginary Son Number 2 play. It will most likely be his last Superbowl. It will be the first Superbowl I will ever watch with him in it.
Yes, I want nothing more than to see Archie get that fourth Superbowl winning moment as a proud father. I want to see Olivia there by his side being the proud mother irrespective of how her children do.
Yes, I am a fan of football’s first family. And it’s because Archie is the kind of father that I would want my partner to be. A man who never brought his work frustration home with him. A father who was always there for his family. A man who is humble and unassuming. A father who was first and foremost a father, a friend, a supporter and an awesome role model.
Go The Broncos! I wish you all the best for the upcoming game. Even though I think you’re going to have your asses handed to you on a platter. I don’t care. I will be screaming at the TV, eating my wings and cringing in my seat with every play.
And if you have to, bench my boy. When he’s not on, he’s really not on. Let the back-up play, he’s done a great job to get the Broncos to where they are this season.
*Addition 1: So, I’ve had a complaint from my partner: “He goes to the super bowl and he is your imaginary son and not ours?” Fine… our imaginary son is going to Superbowl and we’re really proud imaginary parents. Go Broncos!
*Addition 2: My partner is a much better winner than I am. In my moment of victory, I often get all up in his face as though he were my opponent and I had defeated him. I would even trash talk him. It’s really uncalled for, the man is on my team. I really need to re-evaluate my attitude.
Ranter & Banter 