John’s a romantic, one who believes in “the one”. And more often than not, the one is someone who lives in another state or country. It isn’t the one unless you have to jump through hoops to be together. Nothing exceptional is easy.
He was holidaying through the States when John met up with Jane. They talked and talked for hours. For John, this was all that it took. After having spoken together for so many hours, it was love, and he knew he wanted to marry her.
If this came from anyone else, I would believe them and be excited, but because it was John, and I’d heard this several times before, I notched it down to another delusional soulmate sighting.
They spend a week together, immersed in each other, getting all loved up. A holiday romance, one where you throw your heart and soul into it, and believe that it was meant to be. It was a unique relationship, no-one else could possibly understand or compare to what they had found in each other.
Unlike the people they know, who met their partners in the same geographic location, their soulmate was a chance encounter from the other side of the world. They were true soulmates, not one of convenience.
With that knowledge, John came home and packed his bags for the States. Not immediately, there was several months in between, where they would talk every day and confess their undying love for one another.
With every passing day, they are more convinced that they’re meant to be, and no more perfect a match has ever existed. Theirs is a global romance of epic proportion, Meg Ryan movies have nothing on what they have.
If John wasn’t the type to meet his soulmate every other year when he has a first date that lasts more than 4 hours, I wouldn’t be so cynical over it. But when you’re flighty at best and the connections you make are constantly ‘The One’, scepticism ensues.
For John, and people like him, the romance of long distance for some people is better than the actual relationship itself. With the other person being continents away, you’re able to envisage the perfect partner. They will be everything you’ve ever wanted. No, they’re not messy, high maintenance, stupid, have morning breath, bad tipper, racist, homophobic, not nice. Jane was perfect, and they were a perfect match.
John spoke about marriage, and how he would have been content to be married to Jane right then, he couldn’t imagine his life without her. She was everything he had dreamt in his wife.
We didn’t know if we were happy or not for John. I figured it was something that he had to do, but he would be back as the reality of their relationship start to sink in once they started living together daily.
When he moved over to the States, it became apparently that they were two very different people, and they actually had very little in common. Over the next few months, they realised that they didn’t even really care for each other. But they had confessed undying love for one another and he had moved countries to be with her, so, they had to try and make it work.
Jane’s quirks and the way she dealt with life was not how John would have conducted himself. He were inherently different people, and their physical attraction fading and not being so important anymore.
Thankfully, his holiday visa ran out and that was an excuse for him to return home, and gave them an out. They held on for a couple of months after he returned home, not willing to admit to themselves and all their friends and family, that their love was just a holiday lust romance. Slowly, they let the relationship die a natural death.
John was able to admit that they did not have a workable relationship, with each having different values on a relationship, and their language of love being different. The romance of the perfect relationship is far from actually being perfect in reality.
Sometimes, the dream is better than the reality. Just because you’re able to talk to someone for hours at a time and find them interesting, doesn’t mean that you’re able to build a life together.
John and Jane initially had their “Summer Rain” romance, one where they project their desires for everlasting true love onto the other person. In the old days, it would have been the relationship that would forever live in their hearts as the perfect one. The soulmate, but circumstances lead them to be apart, and they will always look back on it fondly.
Letters would have been exchanged, the frequency diminishing over time, and the relationship wold fizzle out into fond memories and yearnings on those lonely nights. And will become a ‘what if’ scenario.
But with technology and passage across the world being what it is today for us, they were able to live out their fantasies and were able to realise that they’re actually ill-suited to each other.
Jane had a crush on John for quite a while, they had been hanging out in the same group for a year now. Yet, John had not once made a move on her.
Then on New Years’ Eve, as others were making out, John turned to Jane and asked her if she wanted to kiss him. And with that, their relationship started.
For Jane, this was her soulmate finally realising that they were meant to be together. For John, it was easy sex, and he was tired of having to work for it.
Jane proceeded to tell everyone that they were now a couple. At the time, it was also news to John, but he wasn’t going to fight it. It was no skin off his nose. His main objective as a young adult was being met, and that’s all that he cared for.
As a couple, John made Jane more tolerable to be around, whilst Jane made John less repulsive as his hornbaggary (it’s a word now) made him less sleazy to be around.
It wasn’t until they had been together for over six months when someone actually asked the question, “John, do you actually like Jane?”
His response was surprising and yet, not surprising. “No, I think she’s a bitch.” He stated matter of factly.
And yet, they were together. He liked the sex, it was that simple for him, he was neither here nor there really with her as his girlfriend, so long as he was having sex, he was fine.
Jane on the other hand, was convinced that they were the perfect couple. The one couple who was meant to be, and she wasn’t afraid to tell the rest of us how perfect her relationship with John was.
We didn’t know what to do or say. Looking back on it now, John was a massive asshole, and Jane, well, she was a snob.
They eventually got married, John had reached the age where his family were pressuring him to start his own family. As there were no other prospects, he figured he might as well. Close enough was good enough, and maybe, in his own way, he loved her.
For Jane, it was perfect. She was the first of her friends to get married and this had so much significance in itself. She was sure that:
- They were more secure in their relationship than anyone else;
- She and John were madly in love with one another;
- She was prettier than all her friends;
- She was a real lady because she was getting married and not living in sin;
- She was smarter than everyone else, because she got that ring;
- She won the game of life.
Yes, it was evident that Jane was sure of herself and her life with John.
As for the rest of us, the men wondered why John subjected himself to Jane. The women wondered how long before John strayed.
Ranter & Banter 