More often than not, relationships end. I hear you say, “No it doesn’t! People get married all the time.” Yes, they do, but, unless your soulmate is also the person you had your first ever date with, then, you too have experienced an end to a ‘relationship’.
Whether it’s a single date, or a fifteen year relationship, when it comes to it ending, there are dignified ways of moving on, and then, there’s the pathetic way of trying to hold on that makes everyone that comes into contact with it cringe and turn for the hills.
We at one point or another have either have done these things ourselves or witness someone else doing it. And for the most part, it does not paint you in the best light. Here’s a list of things to not keep doing over and over again weeks/months after the relationship has ended:
- Trash talking them: don’t be that horrible person who goes around trash talking your ex to all your buddies/girlfriend. You may think it’s funny and makes you into the winner in the breakup, but one day, you will know that it will come back to bite you. It’s undignified and makes you into the person who trashes their ex once it’s over. Just say, “We are just very different people.” And if your friend wants to date your ex, and you want to warn them, then, do so. But don’t tell anyone with ears all the crap that went on behind closed doors. Move on. Also, declaring “My cheating wife ladies and gentlemen!” on social media makes it rather difficult and awkward when you forgive your spouse and try to forget that it all happened.
- Stalking: It’s not cool. It’s terrifying, and it’s a criminal offence. Do you honestly think that by stalking your ex that they will say to themselves, “Oh well, he’s/she’s there and showing great commitment, I might as well.” No, they don’t. You’re just that crazy pathetic person who can’t move on and is totally crazy. You’re the creep that there needs to be a public service announcement about, so that no-one ever dates you again.
- Public declaration of love: When it’s over, declaring on facebook/snapchat/Instagram, your social media of choice, that you have just lost your soulmate and desperately want them back isn’t going to help the situation. You’re putting them in an awkward situation socially. Don’t be that person who posts a photo of the two of you kissing at sunset, with this caption “We were so in love, and you say that it’s over? You said you loved me, and now you don’t, how can that be? True love lasts forever.”
- Constant messages: Once the breakup is over, you constantly trying to get in contact with them only annoys the other person. As the person who was dumped, don’t bombard them with messages, especially when they’re not answering back. When you realise that previously, the messages were always answered promptly and it was a 1 for 1 relay, it has now become a one way street, and they only respond to your cries of desperation two days later, the message is clear. They no longer care for you. Your ex hasn’t all of a sudden stopped using their phone, they’re choosing to ignore you. In a society where are rarely away from our phones, we chose to ignore messages we’re not interested in.
- Telling everyone willing to listen why it ended: Some times, your side of the story is scary and makes you to be the person who deserves to be dumped. You’re inadvertently just scaring off everyone else you know from ever contemplating entering into a relationship with you. Relationships end for various reasons, and often, there is no fault in it ending, but when you are go around constantly talking/crying over it ending, people eventually grow very tired of you and your stories. It’s not endearing and it’s definitely not a subject that perks up any conversation.
Getting dumped isn’t a good feeling, but there are ways to deal with it in a dignified way. Especially if you want to leave the door ajar for a possible reconciliation. Sometimes we do give our heartbreakers another chance. Sometimes it works, other times, it doesn’t. But whatever the case, dealing with a breakup with dignity is key.
Dumping someone sometimes is an amazing feeling, not often, but sometimes it is. When it is, don’t go around announcing it like you’ve won the $15m lottery. Just move on happily and freely. Your demeanour is more than enough for those around you to know that you’re way more happy single than you were with your ex.
Ranter & Banter 