- Having nothing to do
As a child, you would sit there and complain that you’re bored and have nothing to do, whilst your friend James is off climbing a mountain with his family.
As an adult, you sit there with a grand smile on your face as you do nothing, whilst your friend James is off climbing a mountain. Sucker.
- Sleeping in on the weekend
As a child, you couldn’t wait to get up and make the most of your weekends. Staying in bed any longer was just torture as you stared at the ceiling wondering what was going on outside.
As an adult, there is nothing more rewarding than sleeping in on the weekend. Laying about in bed, even after you’re awake is nice. You cuddle deeper into your bed as you enjoy knowing that you don’t have to go to work or do anything.
- School
As a child, going to school and learning new things is torturous and annoying. Having to wear the same thing every single day, and knowing exactly what’s going to happen is boring. You longed for the day that you can wear your nice clothes to school and show off to your friends.
As a adult, there’s nothing more awesome than FREE education. Learning something new, hanging out all day with your friends, making fun of the authoritative figure, sitting in the sun and enjoying playtime (recess and lunch) with your best friends in the world. Not having to spend a fortune on clothes, shoes and accessories (I’m looking at your handbags and ties).
- Not being invited to an acquaintance’s birthday party
As a child, more so, a teenager, it’s like social death when you’re not invited to the party that everyone else that you know is invited to. It’s basically the world telling you that you’re just not cool enough. You secretly plot that person’s demise quietly in your diary.
As an adult, you couldn’t care less that you friends are going to some loser’s party that you only know the name of. Whatever man, I’m gonna get me a little something something.
- Reading
When you’re in school, doing a book report is horrendous. You go searching for the movie version and pray that it’s the same as the book. You invest a mini fortune in books that analyse the book, so you can “research” rather than plagiarise.
You read books for fun, discuss them with your family and friends, even go online and find a forum or chat page so you can have your opinions confirmed by your peers. You go around telling everyone you know about a great book when you’ve found one, and people think you’re an intellectual snob, but you’re secretly proud that you’ve discovered it before others have.
- Playing group sport
If you’re not a athletic during school, the idea of physical education was nothing but an exercise in torture for the co-ordinated to dominate and for you to fail. You pretend to have any and every injury under the sun and pray that your mother will write you a note. And if she doesn’t, you quickly learn to forge one. Or, you just conveniently forget your sports clothes every other time.
As an adult, the idea of doing any sport is cool. Soccer, sure, you’ll play. It doesn’t matter that you don’t know how to kick a ball, but you’ll join the team. You’ll play co-ed netball, because well, there are hot chicks/guys around. You want to be a part of the lunch time running crew, if you could run. We all want to be in the physical exercise thing, one way or another.
- Reading or watching the news
The longest 30 minutes of every day is when you had to sit there and watch the news, you didn’t care that there was war in any part of the world, or that the stock market was took a 2% hit, or that the economic data was released and it was much lower than expected. You didn’t see its relevance at all.
As an adult, only some of these things make sense to you, but you’re still interested in it, or at least, pretend to be. You look forward to finding out what’s happened in the world whilst you’ve been at work. So you don’t sound like a moron when you say “Did you know that two planes flew into the world trade centres in New York?” two weeks after the fact. Yes, this actually happened to an acquaintance of mine.
- Spending time with your parents
It was just so uncool spending your weekends with your parents when you’re a teenager. You just didn’t understand what they were on about and they were just daggy. Constantly trying to give you advice, it was unwanted.
As an adult, you realise that your parents are the coolest people on earth, they had this amazing life before they became your parents and know so much. You ask them advice on every aspect of your life, because you know that they will always have your back and only want the best for you. Sure, they’re still a little annoying and nag you about when you’re going to get married and have children, that aside, they’re still pretty awesome.
Ranter & Banter 