Every couple is different, and their problems different. And yet, somehow, the majority of them can be classified into the following classic married couples:
- The childhood, high school or university sweethearts;
- The gold digger (Click here);
- The leftovers (click here);
- The can’t be bothered ;
- The settlers (click here);
- The once in a lifetime lovers (click here);
- The delusional ‘soulmates’;
- The soulmates;
- The trapped;
- The unlikely couple;
- The love at first sighters.
These are the couples which I’ve encountered. There very well may be more out there. Every unhappily married couple is different, but every happily married have one thing in common. And that’s kindness. They interact with each other in a kind way, a nice way, a respectful way. More on that later.
As the keen human observer of all things relationships, I have noted so much in my life as I was being entwined with the lives of those around me.
Having experienced for myself the various forms of relationships I’ve listed above, unlike my friends, I was unwilling to take the next step. Inevitably, the relationships I had managed to foster would fail. Basically, I was the poster child of what not to do in a relationship if you wanted it to last. My family and friends were getting worried. I, on the other hand, wasn’t.
Being single for random periods of my adult life, and dating or being in relationships for the other chunks, I had plenty of time to reflect on what works and what doesn’t work. I also had plenty of time to be the counsellor to my friends for their relationships and marriages. This is a detailed recollection of what I’ve observed.
I was happy being alone, when I was alone, because I didn’t want to be with the alternative. And when I was in a relationship, I was happy in that relationship, until I wasn’t, and it was over. I didn’t want to fester overly long, especially when I analysed the relationship and asked myself one simple question: “Can I see this man as the father of my children?” Sometimes, the breakup would take weeks, months, years, but I always knew that the answer to that question was a resounding No.
When it comes to relationships, I consider myself a realist, cynic and, occasionally, romantic. I have faith in the love and longevity of everlasting relationships, but, I also believe that the majority of people enter into mediocre relationships and some bad ones; and that these people often convince themselves that they are the only two people on earth who truly understand how perfect they truly are for each other.
There are some basic inherent problems within a relationship, which always seem to creep into different families, once the big no-no’s have been weeded out (religion, politics and sexual tastes):
- Chores,
- Money,
- Fidelity,
- Intelligence,
- Parenting,
- Sexual attraction, and
- Interests.
Let’s discuss the hits and misses of the various couples I’ve encountered in my adult life, and see if you see the people you know in them. Every couple will be referred to as John and Jane, just to keep it simple, and so I can remain semi anonymous. There may be ,multiple examples of Johns and Janes within the various categories, just to highlight how different couples in the same situation can be.
Is there a relationship couple that I’ve missed? Let me know and I will add them in accordingly.
Ranter & Banter 