WEDDINGS… why have they become such big business?

Weddings are a multi-billion dollar industry.   If you doubt me on that, let’s do some basic numbers guestimations:

Talk about great economic boosters!  Look at those zeroes.  Realistically, you could buy yourself a nice car or throw a wedding.  It is amazing how much money and stress goes into a wedding.  And I just don’t get why we keep putting ourselves through it.

Women go bat shit crazy (pardon the language) over this one day.  Let’s not play coy and pretend that we’re unfamiliar with the bridezilla.  Most of us have encountered bridezillas, to varying degrees.  These are scary women, ones which an innocent bystander should steer clear of, it will only cause you pain and suffering.

All their neurosis come out once the flood gates open, they freak out over hair, makeup, the wedding dress, the bridesmaids selection, the bridesmaids dresses, the flowers, the venue, the food, the cake, the mother in law, the mother of the bride, the priest/celebrant, the flower girl, the guest list, the favours, etc.  And the list just goes on.  It’s like a never ending list of things to worry about and organise.  And if any of these elements go astray, you can be sure that the world is about to end, and you better run for cover.

And yet, with all the stress and work that goes towards this one day, women all over the world are suckered into believing that it is the happiest day of their lives.  I just don’t get it.  Which part of this day is the happiest?  The part where you marry the man?  Or is it the part where you are the princess for the day and everyone you know must tell you that you’re absolutely beautiful no matter what?  I don’t get it, I’ve never understood it.  Someone, please enlighten me.

I know I am a minority when I say that there is nothing I dread more than my wedding day.  I have always been afraid of this day. I see the stress and horror that leads up to the day, then, I see the drain on the bride and groom on a day where it is a lot of work.  I love the end product, don’t get me wrong, but I definitely don’t want to hold one for myself.

I love the pomp and ceremony of other people’s weddings, but what I don’t like is the stress with which couples had to undergo to get to that point in time.  Couples who were seemingly happy prior to the engagement go into hyper stress overdrive, the once chilled out girlfriend turns into a psycho fiancé.  I’m sure the guy at this point is wondering what on earth he’s gotten into.  It’s like releasing a beast.

I’ve been an addict of Say yes to the dress for a while now.  It’s my true guilty pleasure.  And what amazes me more, is the Big Day specials.  The ones where they follow the flamboyant bride to be as she goes about organising her wedding.  It is absolutely insane what the bride goes through, and that oh so nasty and selfish side of her that comes out.

I am quite surprised that they actually manage to make it down the aisle and commit to each other.  If that’s the side of a person when you’re getting married, what are they going to be like when you’ve got 2 kids demanding all your time and energy?  Yikes!  I guess they will only follow the big personalities for the big day specials.

Quite a lot of my friends have had horrible wedding planning negotiations with their families and in-laws.  For a lot of us, it isn’t necessarily our day, it is our parents’ day.  It is their turn to show the world that they’ve raised good children who are getting society’s seal of approval.  Couture wedding dresses, designer wedding dresses, off the rack wedding dresses… does it actually really matter?

Honestly, I don’t know.  I guess it’s a matter which every bride must decide for herself.

Many brides go off the rails for their perfect wedding dress, and end up in something that is ridiculously puffy, where they’re completely lost to their own sense of style and self.  They want that princess moment, but you’re not a princess honey.  You’re you.  Be you.  Why are you trying to be a Disney Princess on a day where you should be your truest self.

Me, I long ago described my perfect wedding.  An elopement, with my parents and his parents.  Small, simple and away from the gawking eyes of everyone we know.  I have no intention of parading myself around in a big puffy dress that I would never get caught in.  I don’t want my hair to be done in a way that I am barely recognisable.  I don’t want to stress about every detail for a day which transitions me from an “I” to a “we”.  And I’d rather throw a BBQ with beers and jumping castles anyway to celebrate our marriage.  It is a day which is special for my partner, our families and a handful of our closest friends. No-one else really cares, they just want to have some free booze, food and a great party.

I want to have fun from the beginning of my engagement to the end of it, I don’t want to spend that time worrying about how things are going to look.

That said, I love attending other people’s weddings.  It’s the ultimate party in life.  I get dressed up, I eat and get a little drunk, dance and make inappropriate comments to random people.  Or better yet, watch someone I know kiss the bride’s so-and-so, very much at her displeasure.  And of course, we laugh at how whacked out the bridesmaids dresses are.  Unfortunately for me, I am often that person that you laugh at.  I shall never forget the first time I was a maid of honour, I can tell you now, post-it yellow, not a good colour.

I guess deep down I know the answer to my own question.  Brides want to outdo one another, they want their special day to be bigger and better than any of their friends. They want it to be so memorable that theirs is the wedding which others will be comparing future weddings to.  But most of all, it is the one day in their lifetime where they feel that they are entitled to be the centre of the universe, no matter how much it costs or drives people crazy.  And, more importantly, they want to be incredibly beautiful for their partner.  They want to wow them, and everyone else.  A perfect wedding will be the perfect start to a perfect life together.  If only ladies… if only.  Your wedding is the least of your concerns, it is your marriage which you should spend your energy and money on.